Finding Balance: The Secret of Rocks, Pebbles, and Sand

Hey Fam!

I want to share a story that recently gave me a fresh perspective on life’s priorities.

Imagine you’re holding an empty jar. Now, fill it with a few big rocks until it seems full. Can you add anything else? Sure—you pour in small pebbles that settle in the spaces between the rocks. Still more? You finish by adding sand, which fills every tiny crevice. Now the jar is truly full.

But if you reversed the order—pouring in the sand first—there wouldn’t be room for the rocks.

This simple parable is a vivid metaphor for life. The rocks represent our most important priorities, the things that truly matter and form the foundation of a meaningful existence. The pebbles are important but less critical commitments, and the sand is everything extra—the distractions and the “nice-to-haves” that can easily consume our time if we let them.

What Are Your Rocks?

During a Bible study session, I heard this parable, and it made me pause to think: What are the rocks in my life? For me, my rocks are my faith, my family, and my work as an orthopedic surgery resident. These are the things that I need to focus on first because they provide structure, purpose, and meaning.

My pebbles? These include exercise and content creation through Evolving Medic (including this newsletter). They bring balance and value to my life, but don’t overshadow the rocks.

And the sand? That’s where the extras come in: time with friends, reading for leisure, or unwinding with a good TV show. These are enjoyable but shouldn’t take precedence over the big things.

There have been moments when I’ve filled my jar with sand first—watching tv when I could have gotten a workout in, or letting distractions eat into my study time. And when that happens, I can feel the imbalance. Something important inevitably gets squeezed out, whether that’s being present for Khari and Madison, my focus at work, or my personal growth.

But when I get it right—when I prioritize my rocks first—I notice how everything else falls into place. The sand still fits, it just has to be the last thing added.

Applying This to Your Life

What are the rocks, pebbles, and sand in your life? Here’s a simple exercise to get started:

1. List Your Rocks: What are the 2-3 non-negotiable priorities in your life?

2. Identify Your Pebbles: What activities or goals add value but aren’t as critical as your rocks?

3. Recognize the Sand: What are the extras that often consume your time if you’re not careful?

Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember the jar. Start with your rocks. Build around them. You’ll find that balance becomes much easier to achieve.

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Resources You May Enjoy

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See you next week,

JR