Hey Fam,
A few days ago, I stood behind a podium at a national orthopedic surgery conference, palms sweating, heart racing. I was presenting a research project—something I had poured weeks of preparation into—but all I could think about was how I might be perceived.
What if I fumbled my words?
What if someone asked a question I couldn’t answer?
What if I looked unprepared?
Thankfully, everything went well, but as I was walking off the stage it hit me: I had made that moment way harder than it needed to be. I wasn’t preparing with the intention to serve my audience. I was preparing to protect my ego. And that is what caused the most stress.
🧠 The Parable of the Two Arrows
There’s an old parable that says:
“When an ordinary person experiences pain, it’s like being shot with one arrow. But when they react with judgment, fear, and resistance—they shoot themselves with a second arrow.”
The first arrow is unavoidable: tough cases, demanding days, high-stakes presentations. But the second one? That’s often self-inflicted. For me, the first arrow was the real challenge of sharing my work with an experienced audience. But the second arrow—the anxiety about how I would be judged—was the one I didn’t need to carry. If I had simply anchored my attention on delivering value to the room I would’ve dodged that second shot entirely.
🔎 Personal Reflection
This experience made me rethink how and why I prepare for these moments. When my intention is to look competent, sound smart, or prove myself, I end up feeling tense and anxious. But when I reframe it—How can I be of service?—everything softens.
What helped this click even deeper was something I read from Ryan Holiday’s Ego is the Enemy. He writes:
“Impressing people is utterly different from being truly impressive.”
That was me before that talk—trying to impress. But what if my goal was simply to help others understand my work? To make the information translatable and valuable in their clinical practice? That’s the version of me I want to show up as more often.
🧰 Ways I’m Applying This Moving Forward
Here are a few strategies I’m starting to use in my own life:
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Anchor to Service, Not Ego:
Before any big moment—presentation, surgery, clinic—I'll ask: “How can I serve here?”
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Reframe the Fear:
When nerves creep in, I'll say: “This isn’t about me. This is about them.”
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Reflect on my Intention Before I Prepare:
The quality of my prep flows directly from my “why.” If my intention is clean, my experience will be too.
💬 Quote to Carry This Week
“Ego makes us desperate to be recognized. Service allows us to be effective.” – Ryan Holiday
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🎯 The Match Guy Services – Receive expert guidance on residency applications, personal statements, and interview preparation to navigate the competitive medical field successfully. Residency guidance
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See you next week!
JR
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